first post of 2013!

it's been awhile since I've posted and I didn't think I'd come back to post, but for some reason, with all the free time I have, now that I'm done with school, I decided to read this blog yesterday.  Really, all my ramblings and musings were very interesting and it reminds me of the different things i thought about.  all that to say: i was amused and encouraged by what i wrote and it shows the growth i've had so that's why i've decided to return to blogging periodically.  I do still journal, but a lot of times, those thoughts can be rather private and repetitive where as blogging gives me a chance to entertain slightly different ideas.

i thought it would be befitting to think about my first year teaching experience.  it was pretty entertaining to read my own blog and see how fascinated i was with myself when i completed teaching 100 minutes for the first time.  to just think, i have just completed a full year of full-time teaching.  the comparison is daunting and crazy.

i think i adjusted to teaching rather quickly.  in this second semester, it almost seemed second nature to me and now that i'm done with school, i'm actually a little...bored.  i didn't think this would be possible but i think a big reason is that i no longer really watch dramas.  most of my free time is spent with friends, and grading at coffee shops.  i still read two blogs on dramas, but i don't spend too much time being engrossed in dramas.  i just think that teaching takes a lot of mental energy and actual time.  i come home and i'm exhausted.  i'm also spending time catching up with college friends on webcam and such on the weekdays.  as i told people, my E side really comes in the second semester (same as last year) where i just want to hang out with people all the time.  i think i can enjoy time by myself when i'm watching drama but other than that, it's actually quite boring.  this is an interesting realization in it of itself.  i mean i always want to wean myself off dramas completely and in a sense, i think it's happening.  i think a part of it is outgrowing it and a part of it is no longer finding interest in lots of dramas and having no energy to rewatch something old from the beginning.  i'm trying to pick up reading this summer (like a good English teacher should) so hopefully that will work out.  i think i've gotten into the habit of sleeping "early" at least not past 1, which is good and healthy.  i realized what my friend Mimi said: once you enter the working world, it IS kind of boring when all your friends are working and you're not.  now i understand what she means.  at the same time, i am glad i didn't do summer school since i still want that space to relax.  there are still lots of errands for me to run and a part of me just wants to play with my friends all the time, i think.  however, i can still balance that by forcing myself to do some work while my friends are at work and then hanging out with them afterwards.  and i have been creating lists and crossing off things as i come to it.  but i'm thinking next summer, i may actually not mind working as long as it's not the whole summer and there's not work AFTER work.  at least i'll be doing KAC at church and my brother is coming and i'm going home to NY.  most likely i'll work in NY if i don't find something to do in CA afterwards.

i think overall i was able to use my time in planning more efficiently in the second semester and i got a lot more EFFICIENT with the grading though i'm going to need to continue to plan and figure that out for next year since i still did not end up grading some assignments.  sigh.  at least, i will be teaching the same two courses next year though i'll have two English II =_=  but i should be content with my lot as it is.  i can spend more time developing the English II courses. I was much wiser in using my prep period with the planning and since i will have most of my powerpoints made and such, it should be easier next year.

i'm really thankful for my church this year.  i read my previous posts about last year's church and i was also really excited about my church then, but this year, i'm thankful for the friends and the fellowship God provided that i didn't even expect.  that was my prayer last year and God has fulfilled it in an amazing way.  i'll be honest--i doubted Him, that He would answer this prayer.  not that I didn't think He could do it, but for some reason, I questioned Him why He didn't do that for me last year already. but you know, last year was a good experience for me of how it is possible to be in a church and not be involved and how that can affect one's relationship with God.  I am so thankful for this church in many different ways. I love their mission-oriented heart and desire to send people out to do missions, since that is something close to my heart: to evangelize both to the local people in our neighborhood (something that I think is very cool) as well as globally.  it's so cool to see that they have an orphanage in China as well as teaching ESL to the local community, two things close to my heart.  God really led me to this church to help develop and prepare me for the missions He has in mind for me in the future.  i'm glad for the friendships i was able to develop with the girls in the fellowship, each relationship a very different type, but all meaningful conversations and fun times together.  i've integrated in the church and families have welcomed me.  i've also gotten to know various people through retreats and fellowship gatherings--God has shown me how important it is to step out of my comfort zone to form the community around me.  I believe this is an important skill He is teaching me for the future as I will continue to displace myself in different places to do His will wherever He leads me.  I also love the hearts of the young people in my fellowship and how they are fervent for the Lord and actually have a personal relationship with Him.  I have seen so many people who have grown up in the church and fall away or never really had that intimate relationship so it's refreshing and encouraging to see this of the next generation.  Their heart and desire to serve the Lord allows us to see eye to eye but also spurs me further towards my own faith, which is the way it's supposed to be according to Hebrews.  I've been pushed to grow more in my faith, especially in my daily quiet times with God, to really get to know His true character much better, an important discipline to have in order to be properly fueled for each day.